Monday, April 8, 2013

How To Recognize A Church Bully

A church bully is nothing more that a psychological terrorist. They are subtle in their abuse and sometimes impossible to identify. Pay attention to the signs. The main red flag for me personally is any form of criticism or verbal abuse in any form. Another red flag is when you see anyone turning a minor problem into a major issue. Protect your church and your pastors from being made targets by anyone who wants too much attention and control.

Pray for wisdom when you recognize the spirit of a potential bully because they have problems of their own that have caused this disorder. The bully will be doing all they can do using their tools to undermine their target. They are out to ruin their reputation and credibility to force them to leave or be terminated. Their main objective becomes clear as they cause their victims to want to give up or to be forced out involuntarily.

These are the types of personalities that will paralyze their targets with issues that have nothing to do with the mission of the church. They are so focused on destroying their target which is usually our Pastors or precious members of the body. I have seen many good Pastors used and abused for their contributions to their churches. When their is success that is when a church bully will come along and do what they can to change things. I have seen Pastors made to feel like they are selfish and self centered when they try to hold on to the ministry they have built. Their self esteem can be so damaged by individuals who just continue to pull the rug out from underneath them.

Pastors have been used and abused by bullies while giving the impression that they are supporting him. In time, when they get what they want then they set in to destroy him instead. I have seen bully's in the church go after Pastors and their families and do everything they can to keep them from being able to continue to serve in any other ministries. They want the satisfaction to know that they have destroyed the Pastor and his family. We have all met people in the church that just seem to focus and join the group that removes the Pastor and his family.

A friend recently had lunch with a friend who was sharing that they were removing the Pastor from their church because they felt he was selfish and self-centered. My friend responded well by telling her that she had no business being a part of something so awful but instead should find a different church herself. This was the third pastor this lady, her friends and family were involved in removing. One had been the pastor for 17 years. Do you see the pattern?

2 Corinthians 11:14 "And no marvel; for even Satan fashineth himself into an angel of light."